It was insightful seeing how people who have Alzheimer's affects their children and family.
I volunteer at a dementia centre. The attenders who come to the centre aren't as bad as Tony's Mum though and many can have conversations and some are physically able with just minor mobility problems. What makes it easy for me and I suspect the people who run the centre, and the other volunteers is the fact we are so detached. They are really cared for at the centre, but we have only known these people whilst they have had the dementia, this is who they are to us.
I don't know what it's like to witness someone you love disintegrate and crumble away, with fragments of the person still there or just sometimes there.
People say 'I don't want to end up in an old people's home' and then carry on with their lives, I do it too. But there are people in homes now who don't want to be in them. But like Tony said, no one seems really bothered about that. There are other options such as caring for your parents yourself. I can only imagine that this is a very intense thing, living with them and their illness for 24 hours a day and so a home seems a relief and a comfort even if it just basically keeping them in existence.
The documentary focused on Tony's experiences and feelings about it as his Mum couldn't even communicate. But it must be extremely difficult for the person who has it as well. People don't always understand dementia and even though they will know it's not the person's fault - I can imagine people get frustrated with them for their lack of memory, repetitiveness and confusion. But I think the person with dementia can feel lonely as it is a disability and they can't do what they once did and be as social and active. They are still the person they always was, they still have their hearts, it is just that something is destroying their minds and they have no control
From what I've witnessed at the centre, people can get anxious, distressed and confused. Wondering where they are and if they will ever go home. The dementia centre is such a warm and accepting environment though that it is a place that they can be themselves without feeling judged and all the volunteers and workers are really lovely and supportive and don't patronize people for their illness.
I think that is quite important as one of my biggest fears is being treat like a child and patronized, especially after having decades of adulthood. It must be an isolating and lonely thing.
I must also say a lot of the time the attenders are quite happy and a lot of them say how much they enjoy coming as a lot of fun does happen!
It seems a tricky subject, where I have lots of thoughts in my head about it but I'm not sure how to express them
2 comments:
Dementia is one of the scariest illnesses around. I'm terrified of it: for the people who have it, for my family, for myself. I'm terrified of old people's homes or that anyone I know should ever have to live in one. It sounds terrible to say it, but (and I know she would agree) I'm so glad my Grandma died before that became an issue for her.
It is not getting old that scares me. It is not even dying. Well, I suppose it is a bit. But mostly it is the idea of ever getting to a stage where my mind deteriorates or I can't look after myself.
I know what you mean. It's everyone's worst fear I think. It's sad as it's affecting so many people right now but no one does anything. If dementia happened to young people more would be done I think..but because it comes at the end of your life people aren't as bothered.
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