Dreams can come true

In a way dreams are quite amazing. The way they can bring you to the brim of an emotion and momentarily send you to the cliff edge of it. For example, when I have dreamt about someone in a certain way and awoken with a sense of longing for them that I never had before, waking up saddened when I have dreamt someone has died or feel very disturbed when I'm staring into a mirror with my eye sockets cemented in.

Last night I had a traumatic and vivid dream. I was going to have a baby and my water's broke.
I wanted to keep the baby and an abortion at the same time. An abortion seemed so brutal and sad but a living creature inside me seemed so foreign and strange. I felt very gloomy about having a baby and an overwhelming sense of ruining my life!

I woke up thinking if I am going to be so torn about having a child and feel thoughts like that then maybe I am not ready for children and should be extremely careful in potential children-creating activities but that's not something I have to worry about currently and I have no plans for motherhood anyway. I'm not sure if that reaction and feeling I felt was exactly true to life but it is funny how alive dreams can feel, it is like some sort of virtual reality, putting you in a situation you have not yet been in. I daydream quite a lot and get lost in my imagination sometimes but it never feels as alive as a dream.

On Blogging

I like and admire blogs of a confessional, open nature. It must take courage to write those sort of entries - being open to the world, unknowing of the responses. I like how you can find out about people living their lives-sharing the moments, experiences, thoughts, and feelings that one might never find out about. Blogging about things that I myself will never experience or really ever properly understand. But also reading about the everyday moments that I and many people experience daily.

Blogs that aren't especially confessional and not rooted in the person themself specifically, a bit like a newspaper article-format I think can be interesting. It is as if the fragments of the blogger you find in their entries and the shadows they create make them quite intriguing also.

My blog seems to fall into the latter catagory. One of the reasons for this is because I do very little and my life doesn't contain that many blog-worthy entries. Haaha....what a bleak ending.

hedge-hogging the CD player

I have previously blogged about a local hedgehog that I occasionally see.

Today he was asleep in the garage, nestled behind a cd player. He looks snug, I thought to myself, but on reflection it seems that he was stuck rather than snug!



My dad tried to get the hedgehog out but he seemed quite firmly entangled in the holes of the CD player - I think it was his claw that was also entangled. He curled up in a little ball when he was touched, but he still remained attached. Eventually, he was delicately tugged out and layed on the ground, but he still remained in his little ball.

It made me sad for the hedgehogs that live in the man-made world - the busy roads and unkind humans. They are defenceless as their instinct to roll into a ball becomes mostly useless.

See you soon babe

as I was at my friend's flat, my friend discovered some letters and postcards in the loft - I think it was a few different people writing to a boy called Trayen. He must have lived there years ago as the letters were dated around '97.

The letters and postcards are quite brief and simple, and also very informal and colloquial in places. I think it's an interesting glimpse into this person's life, as you can only guess their relationship from this fragmented correspondance, they will always remain a dark silhouette...

trayen, baby how ya doin'? I'm sitting in a bar in Greece. Actually I looking after the bar while the manager plays pool. It's beautiful out here. I get free drinks because I'm helping behind the bar. The place on the front is where we go at night somteimes. I'll call you when I get home. I love you babe. Love Georgia xxx

-
Dear Trayen, I hope you are well and not too stressed about your exams and stuff. Things are swinging on as usual here, and it's all pretty peaceful really. I really miss Jess at the moment though I've not seen her since the last week and in December I probably will have called before you read this because it's bank holiday sunday

I'm sitting on a park bench by the river and all these couples keep walking past holding hands, it's making me feel nauseatingly single

See you soon babe

Emma xxx

-
"When In Rome" (Dedicated to Trayen)

When I see you in the morning
Putting on your pretty clothes
I watch you do your makeup
Like they do in all those fashion shows
And you go away and your gone all day
but your coming home to night.
But when your home, darling all you've got to be is you
But when in rome do as the romans do.

I like that they are quite blande and ordinary - they aren't gut wrenching love letters or deeply revealing