Animalism

I went to the National Media Museum a few weeks ago which is located in Bradford in West Yorkshire - it is well-known for the Imax Cinema. There was a photography exhibition on called 'Animalism'. I really enjoyed this exhibition. It was a variety of different photographers work. I really like animals- I think they are amazing to see aesthetically and in nature.

There was something written on the wall of the exhibition which made me think:

'Our visually driven society tends to give animals human characteristics to make them seem more like us. This exhibition, however, considers the animal gaze and the ways in which animals see us, quite simply, as other animals, rather than distinctly and uniquely human.' 

I do that. I can really only understand my own mind and the way humans think - not in a scientific way - just the way we all can. I don't really understand what animals are 'thinking'. I know they run on instinct but I do tend to see animals to be like myself. 

There are two cats that live in the area that come and visit the house. When I walk past them in the street and they are alone I feel like they might be experiencing loneliness. I see their life and I feel like it is lonely because I know they like attention and being fussed over. I've been lonely before and I feel like if I was in their position, I would feel unhappy. Yes this is ridiculous. I don't think animals feel loneliness but I still feel a pang in my stomach. I don't like to see them sitting alone.

I dislike birds in cages and I feel sad when I see leads digging into dog's necks because they want to run so fast but can't. Dogs needs to be on leads for their safety in the man-made world and so they don't run away, and I think dogs might actually like leads and feeling like they have an owner but many dogs want to run so fast and never get the chance.

I'm probably sounding insane now. I just tend to empathize with animals from a human's point of view.

Here are a few images that were in the exhibition by the photographer Pieter Hugo called 'THE HYENA AND OTHER MEN' and I as a person who likes to see fluffy lil animals looking cute n hapi found this quite haunting and brutal:

P.S  The exhibition is running til the 27th of September.  CLICK HERE for more information.

New Lens

I have recently bought a new lens and I am really impressed with it. It is a Tamron 70-300mm and has a 1:2 macro function. This means I can take pictures of things from quite a distance away and also focus very close up on things like flowers. It's great for capturing tiny details sometimes missed with my other lens. I feel slightly rude because I take pictures of flowers and then am not sure what they are called. Same with birds. I have a book about British wildlife to help though.

Here are a few photographs I've taken with the lens:

I included the photograph of the blurry bird as I think it would have been a good image if only it was in focus! I just wasn't quick enough fiddling with the camera and then it had flown away.

Eyes of a Child

I, like everyone, was once a child but the feelings and perceptions that I had as a child have gone.  I see the world from an 'adult''s perspective now.

I find it fascinating but perplexing the way children see things.  It's hard for me to even describe what that might be.  It's more of a vague notion or like looking at something but having to squint my eyes to see it properly.  

I was playing with my 5 year old neice in the garden today and we were playing with her toy gardening tools and I was using the rake and she said I was using it wrong, and I responded 'I don't know everything'  and she said 'But you're 20'.  

It made me think about how when I was a small child I didn't question the authority of adults and assumed they knew best.  It was almost like the adults were a different species to us children,  living beside us as we were living in another world of toys coming to life, games, father christmas and tooth fairies. 

I remember once I slept in the middle of my parents in their bed as I was afraid of the tooth fairy coming into my room.  And on a separate occasion I lost my tooth in the school playground, so I wrote a letter and put it under my pillow, telling the tooth fairy where I had lost it and asking can I still have the cash please.  Things that are magical are so easy to believe when little.  I remember that believing in something that you can't see is an exciting thing when a child.  

I played with dolls and little characters when I was younger, and set up different scenarios for them - I enjoyed doing this as it felt real to me.  If I were to do this now I wouldn't get any pleasure from it, but when I was a child each game I made up was like becoming engrossed in a favorite film - you feel you are there and believe it is happening.  

It's one of the things that make children so special and fun, the fact that they act naturally and behave in a more natural and free sort of way.  The only people who will truly know what the child can see is the child themselves, but it would be nice to feel what it is like once more. 

The Animal Farm

Last week I went to Graves Park with my college friend to take some pictures of the surroundings. We ended up spending all of our time in the animal farm.  It was the first time I've been to this park which is a shame really as it is only 15 minutes away with a car.

There are a wide variety of creatures living in the farm and it was a joy to be around other species of animals.  I didn't take pictures of the ducks for some reason, but I felt sad for them as they were in a pen but there was no pond.  I do hope that they have some swimming arrangements sorted as it seems unnatural - ducks without water.

I liked the inquisitive goat, however I wasn't sure whether it's okay to stroke them as I'm not sure if they are known for biting..or not..?  I also saw a lone chicken flapping about and motioning her head back and forward.  I saw some pigeons sitting on a roof too.  All in all, a fun and interesting day.  

Emotional Learning

A young Mum and Dad came to my till whilst I was working. They looked angry, bitter and short tempered. They had two children who they kept shouting at and telling them to shut up and behave, they had vicious voices, when I wasn't really sure what the children were doing. I even heard him tell his girlfriend to "shut the fuck up" at one point. All they bought were a load of Pot Noodles and various other readymade stuff. It's only a snapshot of that family but it has been lingering on my mind for a while.

It just makes me wonder what kind of environment the children are growing up in if they talk to their children and each other like that. I haven't had children myself, but I think some people must think just keeping the children alive is all that is necessary for parenthood. They're burdens and you just have to drag them through the days with you. That children aren't precious beings, they own them and can do what they like with them - they did make them after all.

I was thinking that in many deprived areas children do tend to have behaviour problems and have pasttimes of crime and smoking and no aspirations. I think one thing that may help is if they had "emotional learning" classes in school. I don't think a few classes about the birds and the bees is very good. I remember I had only one lesson on it where I was given a carrot and a condom and left to my own devices, then we watched a 30 minute VHS about it too. So many girls in my year at school have their own kids now and quite a few girls were pregnant in year 11 at school.

If in schools it was as compulsory as P.E to have weekly or monthly classes about all aspects of relationships, emotions, life, then I think it would be helpful, as with many families at home their parents don't have the skills to teach them such things.

Relationships and emotions are the centre of us as human beings, so it should be considered important enough to explore in schools.

Better out than in

Six breadcakes (Or "bread rolls" I think they are called if you aren't from Yorkshire-y areas...!)
A pile of chips
Two Magnums (the icecreams, not weapons. However ammo probably would have been the healthier option)

I feel gluttonous. Reading the words make me feel sick.

I have a strange relationship with food. All my life I have stuffed it into my mouth until I've felt sick and everyday is always the planned day that I will never eat badly ever again. Weight Watchers is more like a revolution in my life than a healthy eating plan as it has changed the way I am with food. Well it has curbed my habits with food. I need someone to be watching over me, and someone to report to weekly about my eating habits, otherwise I will descend into unhealthy eating and then my weight will ascend.

The way I lust after food worries me. Before I take my first few bites, I think it's the best thing I could possibly do and will make me happier than anything. It follows with guilt and thoughts of self-loathing.

Yet I still continue.

I enjoy Weight Watchers as I can eat most things and feel guilt free. I do get hungry, and long for chocolate sometimes but I am still carrying on with it.

I think the important thing with losing weight is persistance. One of the things that puts people off attending the weigh-in is if they have put weight on and have to face their gain on the scales in front of someone. I find this helpful as it gives me a reality check and helps regain my motivation. You have to accept that some weeks will be "bad" and you might "go off track". If you can accept this will happen, and you might go a few steps back from time to time, it's easier to carry on ahead.

I was just over 13 stone when I began my new way of eating and I'm around 10 and a half stone now...it does feel like a burden has lifted but also like I have a long way to go, and this struggle with food and the desire to eat and eat, will be with me for life...so I guess I will be attending Weight Watchers for a very long time.

Little Rat

Like pigeons, rats are considered vermin in society. They go all over the place scavaging for food. I took this photograph of a dead rat and showed it to my Mum but she didn't have sympathy because it's "vermin".

I think if a rat jumped upto me and viciously attacked me, and I ran down the street and it still didn't stop chasing me, I'd have less sympathy with this particular rat and have reservations when coming across other rats and probably write a blog post about the Horrible Rats.

But that hasn't happened and from my experience they scurry about, keeping out of people's way, living the life that was thrust upon them as best that they can, like all creatures.

I suppose if they were inhabiting in your home they would be a nuisance. I haven't personally lived in a "rat infested" home luckily, and if I did I probably would resort to a mouse trap, or the least painful thing out there if there is anything. Apparently they are covered in disease, it makes my argument to like rats a bit more difficult, but still, it's only because of their life as outsiders they are like this-what they have inside them and covering them is horrible, but they aren't malicious.

I may be hypocritical with my sympathy as when it comes to insects inside my house and things like that I want the motherfuckers dead. I do try and waft insects out of a window if possible and I'm not really bothered about wood lice and things like that as they can't hurt me.

However, once when I was sleeping in my sister's new house in New Zealand I awoke in the middle of the night to find the wall covered in ants. I spent the rest of the night upset and scared, trying to lay as still as possible..the next morning they were all over the walls in the house, in the cupboards, on the floor..it was really horrible. I had no empathy for them then, I just cared about a non-infested house and being able to sleep peacefully.

I suppose, in conclusion, I don't mind rats as long as they keep out of my way, and all other non-cute, non-sociable creatures which they have done so far.