What's in my bag...

Jenny Adamthwaite in her blog From The Living Room tagged me to show what is in my handbag! She said because I was looking for things to write about and I guess I am!

As you can see, the majority of the contents of my bag are typical bag-stuff; keys, purse, various crap like reciepts. I quite like my pink hello kitty purse; inside it is a picture of my neice and nephew, more reciepts, and bank, id, top-up, student cards.

My notebook, monthly pass, and the thing you can see with two "7"s on are all Weight Watchers related as I use the notebook to write down how many points I have had during the day (I am allowed 20). Also, the monthly pass is just what I use as I don't pay to go to weekly meetings but they take it out of my bank. The thing with the two "7"s on is a record of how much I have lost so far.

I also have a film in my bag as I am waiting to develop it in the darkroom on Friday.

My new purchase are my gloves and I've needed them sooner than I anticipated! I really love my gloves as they are fingerless but also have a mitten-top, so I don't have to take them off for doing things which is good and when it's cold I can put on the mitten-top.

Also, I really like my bag which my sister found whilst we were in a charity shop. She gave it to me but I think it is worth quite a lot as this girl at college asked me if I queud up for my bag and I had no idea what she was on about. Perhaps it is a fake..I wouldn't know the difference but it's still very real in the sense it's not a plastic bag. :P

Also if you look closely there is a cinema ticket for the film 'How to Lose Friends and Alienate People' (which was ok) and a wrapper for a chocolate bar...

So that is what is in my bag, the end!

Photography Course

Well I've started a photography course. I decided to enrol on a course as I enjoy photography but I am frustrated with my lack of technical knowledge of the camera. In my class there is a diverse range of ages, I am perhaps the youngest in the class. I have been learning about cameras and how to use the darkroom. It's all rather exciting! The process of taking pictures and developing becomes so much more fascinating when you are in control of every part of it.

I take pictures with my digital camera, but there is something more satisfying about this. With digital photography it is so instant, that I take for granted whatever image appears. It doesn't feel like it is my image. It's just something I have captured, not created.

Another reason I enjoy my photography class is it's good being with different people. I don't really have any friends in Sheffield anymore, and so being with other human beings is good for me. It is strange, as I feel more settled than I ever did when I was studying for my A Levels. Everyone is so friendly and wants to talk.

I feel like the camera makes sense to me now rather than a foreign language.

Doesn't it go dark early?

I have been neglecting my blog. I asked my Mum what I should write in in it and she had 4 suggestions:

1) The photography course I am on
2) That I've joined Weight Watchers and lost quite a lot of weight
3) I'm going on holiday soon to Blackpool
4) It was Grandma's 77th birthday the other day and she got 25 birthday cards

Perhaps I should blog about the first two and not the latter two.

Dreams can come true

In a way dreams are quite amazing. The way they can bring you to the brim of an emotion and momentarily send you to the cliff edge of it. For example, when I have dreamt about someone in a certain way and awoken with a sense of longing for them that I never had before, waking up saddened when I have dreamt someone has died or feel very disturbed when I'm staring into a mirror with my eye sockets cemented in.

Last night I had a traumatic and vivid dream. I was going to have a baby and my water's broke.
I wanted to keep the baby and an abortion at the same time. An abortion seemed so brutal and sad but a living creature inside me seemed so foreign and strange. I felt very gloomy about having a baby and an overwhelming sense of ruining my life!

I woke up thinking if I am going to be so torn about having a child and feel thoughts like that then maybe I am not ready for children and should be extremely careful in potential children-creating activities but that's not something I have to worry about currently and I have no plans for motherhood anyway. I'm not sure if that reaction and feeling I felt was exactly true to life but it is funny how alive dreams can feel, it is like some sort of virtual reality, putting you in a situation you have not yet been in. I daydream quite a lot and get lost in my imagination sometimes but it never feels as alive as a dream.

On Blogging

I like and admire blogs of a confessional, open nature. It must take courage to write those sort of entries - being open to the world, unknowing of the responses. I like how you can find out about people living their lives-sharing the moments, experiences, thoughts, and feelings that one might never find out about. Blogging about things that I myself will never experience or really ever properly understand. But also reading about the everyday moments that I and many people experience daily.

Blogs that aren't especially confessional and not rooted in the person themself specifically, a bit like a newspaper article-format I think can be interesting. It is as if the fragments of the blogger you find in their entries and the shadows they create make them quite intriguing also.

My blog seems to fall into the latter catagory. One of the reasons for this is because I do very little and my life doesn't contain that many blog-worthy entries. Haaha....what a bleak ending.

hedge-hogging the CD player

I have previously blogged about a local hedgehog that I occasionally see.

Today he was asleep in the garage, nestled behind a cd player. He looks snug, I thought to myself, but on reflection it seems that he was stuck rather than snug!



My dad tried to get the hedgehog out but he seemed quite firmly entangled in the holes of the CD player - I think it was his claw that was also entangled. He curled up in a little ball when he was touched, but he still remained attached. Eventually, he was delicately tugged out and layed on the ground, but he still remained in his little ball.

It made me sad for the hedgehogs that live in the man-made world - the busy roads and unkind humans. They are defenceless as their instinct to roll into a ball becomes mostly useless.

See you soon babe

as I was at my friend's flat, my friend discovered some letters and postcards in the loft - I think it was a few different people writing to a boy called Trayen. He must have lived there years ago as the letters were dated around '97.

The letters and postcards are quite brief and simple, and also very informal and colloquial in places. I think it's an interesting glimpse into this person's life, as you can only guess their relationship from this fragmented correspondance, they will always remain a dark silhouette...

trayen, baby how ya doin'? I'm sitting in a bar in Greece. Actually I looking after the bar while the manager plays pool. It's beautiful out here. I get free drinks because I'm helping behind the bar. The place on the front is where we go at night somteimes. I'll call you when I get home. I love you babe. Love Georgia xxx

-
Dear Trayen, I hope you are well and not too stressed about your exams and stuff. Things are swinging on as usual here, and it's all pretty peaceful really. I really miss Jess at the moment though I've not seen her since the last week and in December I probably will have called before you read this because it's bank holiday sunday

I'm sitting on a park bench by the river and all these couples keep walking past holding hands, it's making me feel nauseatingly single

See you soon babe

Emma xxx

-
"When In Rome" (Dedicated to Trayen)

When I see you in the morning
Putting on your pretty clothes
I watch you do your makeup
Like they do in all those fashion shows
And you go away and your gone all day
but your coming home to night.
But when your home, darling all you've got to be is you
But when in rome do as the romans do.

I like that they are quite blande and ordinary - they aren't gut wrenching love letters or deeply revealing