
In a way dreams are quite amazing. The way they can bring you to the brim of an emotion and momentarily send you to the cliff edge of it. For example, when I have dreamt about someone in a certain way and awoken with a sense of longing for them that I never had before, waking up saddened when I have dreamt someone has died or feel very disturbed when I'm staring into a mirror with my eye sockets cemented in.
Last night I had a traumatic and vivid dream. I was going to have a baby and my water's broke.
I wanted to keep the baby and an abortion at the same time. An abortion seemed so brutal and sad but a living creature inside me seemed so foreign and strange. I felt very gloomy about having a baby and an overwhelming sense of ruining my life!
I woke up thinking if I am going to be so torn about having a child and feel thoughts like that then maybe I am not ready for children and should be extremely careful in potential children-creating activities but that's not something I have to worry about currently and I have no plans for motherhood anyway. I'm not sure if that reaction and feeling I felt was exactly true to life but it is funny how alive dreams can feel, it is like some sort of virtual reality, putting you in a situation you have not yet been in. I daydream quite a lot and get lost in my imagination sometimes but it never feels as alive as a dream.